Registry Theater

The scene: Bedroom. Morning. Brandi has just woken up for the day. Jeff has just come home from a night shift and is getting ready for bed. 

Jeff: So what are your plans for the day?

Brandi: [blah blah blah] and if I'm out that way I may head to Buy Buy Baby and do some research so I can finish the registry.

Jeff: What do we need to put on it to finish it?

Brandi: [etc etc] bathtub [etc etc]

J: Bathtub? We have a bathtub.

B: Yes, but they make little baby bathtubs.

J: Isn't that called a bucket? $5. Home Depot.

B: [laughing at the image of trying to wash a baby in a bright orange bucket]

J: How often do you bathe a baby anyway?

B: I don't know. Well, when they're real little, not until the umbilical cord falls off, then maybe every other day or so. Depends on how dirty they are I guess. [I think to myself, but don't say aloud, that if the baby has skin like Jeff's (prone to dryness, sensitivity) we'll need to make sure we're not bathing too often].

J: Dirty? They don't do anything!

B: Sure they do. Spit up, poop...

J: Yeah, but you just wipe up those areas when it happens.

B: This is true.

J: Well, if it has skin like me, we won't be bathing it very often anyway!

Hopefully, between the two of us reasonably intelligent adults, we'll manage to figure out how to take care of the poor, unsuspecting little newborn.