The one where Brandi throws up...

In CHURCH!!

Yes, that's right.  The one and only time I've actually vomited during this pregnancy (thus far) was in a VERY public place!  I guess I jinxed myself by telling people I was feeling better.

I'm warning you now.  There will be TMI (too much information) in this post. Truthfully, I get more graphic that anyone really needs to know.  But I've got to share the fun with others.  And don't worry, there won't be any pictures in this post!   Do not read if the description of me throwing up will sicken you.  Here's the short version: I get warm in church, stand up when I should have just kept sitting down (or left), and throw up. There you go, you can stop reading now.

So, our church isn't air conditioned.  They had previously held summer services in the school's basement so we'd have A/C.  But the fluorescent lighting, linoleum floor, and folding metal chairs don't quite give that church-y feeling.  So the new priest wanted to try keeping everything in the church this year.  We do have a small chapel/cry room directly adjacent to the altar that has air for those that needed it.

It's been a while since I've been to church here with our various travels, Jeff's work schedule, and not feeling up to it once a month ago.  So we head off to church today.  It was a warm day but not too too hot.  I thought I'd be fine.  I bring a little ice water along in case.  It didn't feel too bad inside.  But while standing and singing during the first hymn, I got a little woozy.  I didn't want to faint in church so I sat down, leaned my head down for a bit and was fine.  This has happened to me before being pregnant.  I figured the singing wasn't helping, maybe messing up my breathing or expending too much energy or whatever.  Well, the next time we stood disproved that idea.  I stand but don't sing.  Just breathe in and out.  I started feeling bad so I sat down again. Hmmm, standing=bad, sitting=good.  So I just kept sitting down through the rest of the service and sipping a little water.  I felt mostly okay but did debate going to the cry room during Communion to sit in the A/C.  I did really want to stand for the Lord's Prayer and giving of peace though.  [Okay, here's where it gets gross.  Stop reading!  Turn back, save yourself!]

BIG mistake.  I started feeling woozy during the prayer but tried to make it through.  Felt worse.  I sat down just after the Lord's prayer and put my head down, tried to breathe, took a drink of water, etc.  Not helping!  Then I started feeling sick.  Oh, a little burp.  Okay, that should relieve the "pressure." I'll be fine.  Nope, now a little vomit comes up!  Kept my mouth closed and swallowed it.  Wiped off the stuff that came out my nose and reached for more water.  I figured that was the worst of it and I was in the clear.  I'll pull myself together and leave when I feel up to it.

I was wrong.  Suddenly I throw up.  All over the floor and the kneeler in front of me. Got some inside my shoes and a little on the bottom of my shorts.  I hear Jeff make a concerned type noise and some helpful person nearby say "Oh! She just got sick!"  I do note that the Cheerios I had that morning have created a pretty bland colored and fairly liquid-y vomit.  Nothing neon green like the last time I threw up while Jeff was around (about 11 years ago, that's a real fun story too).

Jeff digs out the keys and tries to get me to usher me out.  He seems confused that I don't get up immediately. Apparently he neglects to factor in the few seconds I need to wipe vomit off my face and out of my nostrils! Oh, did I mention that we sit like 8 rows from the front of the church??  Fortunately, this does put us near a side exit so we slip out that way.  He hands me the keys and I head home while he heads off to find something to clean up with.  I've asked no details about how it went after I left because I do NOT want to know.  He says to me later that he didn't realize I was feeling that bad.  My reply?  "Yeah, me neither!"  Because you can bet that if I thought I was going to throw up, I would have been long gone!  I thought passing out was the thing I was trying to fight off.

I've already figured out that next weekend we'll be out of town and thus not back at church. Hopefully my status as throw-up girl will die down a bit.  After that, I plan on hiding out in the cry room.  A little A/C and a lot less people sounds like a good idea.